The world was taken by surprise yesterday by the return of a Sexagenarian who hadn’t published a piece of work in a long time; it was unannounced and fittingly out of the blue. Many had thought his career had ended long ago but he has come blustering back in his trademark style to entertain us all again. Yes on the same day ziggy stardust again played his guitar; Jim Traynor proved that there is indeed life on Mars and its populated by sevconians.
This waste of space oddity hadn’t been heard of since his embarrassing last column in the Daily Record which left no doubt as to where his next post would be. Since taking up his head of communications role at Sevco he hadn’t popped his considerable sized head above the parapet in an official capacity but anyone who watched the car crash Charles Green Christmas Message would have detected the familiar tone and content of a script written by Traynor. My body has only now dis-contorted itself two weeks after viewing the video such was its cringe inducing qualities.
I don’t class myself as a regular blogger, just as when I feel like putting something down as time dictates, if it passes 5 mins of someone’s journey on the bus or the train or whilst skiving at work then I’m happy with that. I don’t claim to be grammatically correct but would class myself slightly above semi-literate; I have a first class honours degree and a masters degree in my chosen field which isn’t written English; however I don’t feel that in any way inhibits my or anyone else’s ability to note down some thoughts and opinions on a game which I have contributed heavily to financially now and over the last few decades.
In a general swipe at internet bloggers / bampots Traynor suggested Celtic bloggers were no better than semi-literate; that is - “having achieved an elementary level of ability in reading and writing” [oxford dictionary].
Aside from the cheap and inaccurate generalisation, only having a basic level of literacy doesn’t preclude someone from holding intelligent, balanced and well thought out views. The history of the world would have been a lot different had society ignored the views of those labelled as semi-literate – Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison to name but two.
Jim Traynor has had a career in journalism, he’s never challenged for any literary awards as far as I know, his writing has always been motivated by trying to sell more copies of a newspaper which has taken the form of pandering to the largest demographic of his readership. Nothing then therefore has to change with this transition to his new role apart from adding the two pre-requisite ingredients to get the hordes on side – threats and a quote from struth.
His first blog post was rambling, disjointed and without any tangible content on the subject he was meant to be addressing which was league reconstruction. The Dadaism movement of avante garde poets in the early twentieth century would write a collection of words on separate bits of paper, throwing them into the air and create poetry based on the order the words landed. This seems to be the style of writing Jim Traynor has adopted in recent years going by the quality of some of his Daily Record opinion pieces and this first Sevco offering.
The main theme of the article was not addressing the subject of restructuring; the overriding context of the blog was threat; misplaced triumphalism and demagogic.
Threatening contributors to radio Scotland for doing exactly what Jim Traynor used to do himself – giving opinion.
Misplaced Triumphalism in the claims that Sevco are the biggest club in Scotalnd? A six month old club playing in the fourth tier of Scottish football? Juventus must be glad they didn’t draw them in the Champions League.
Demagogic in inciting a sense of injustice and victimisation amongst the Sevconians by alluding to the unseen hand of Celtic and its supporters somehow being to blame for the position they find themselves in. Repeating the paranoia that main stream media are maligning their club and that they are being locked out of talks (ignoring the fact they are only associate members – new club and all that Jim, but then you know that)
Despite Jim claiming that Sevco have no wish to see a quick restructuring process that would see them fast tracked to the top division this is at odds with the share prospectus which noted that restructuring could see them fast tracked to the SPL a lot quicker.
This would have been a more enticing prospect to would be investors if this were the case and the fact that the new league proposals would not hasten this will no doubt have motivated the tone of the blog. I wonder how many re-writes of the piece he had to do after Charles Green had red penned it?
The gulf at this moment in time between Celtic and Sevco can not only be measured by leagues and finances but also it seems by professionalism and dignity. Dignity used to be the preserve of the Rangers however it would appear the brown brogues have been consigned to the bin and dignity seems to be the one commodity Charles Green didn’t buy in the fire sale.
To add to the embarrassment of this statement we were informed by RFC Dickson that Traynor was on the phone to Radio 5 live awaiting his cue to come on and spout forth his wisdom. As the sevconians tuned into their radios in anticipation it became clear that Traynor had been dropped for an item on a pensioner from Milton Keynes who had been using the same toaster since 1953.
If Traynor keeps producing pieces like this on a consistent basis then it is going to keep me laughing for a long time to come – just like bowies laughing gnome.
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