Going Radio Ga Ga over Pierce O’Leary – an Eighties Cup Shocker.

Sundays dismal result at Hampden lead to a lot of debate, disappointment and a period of reflection of what might have been for the second year in a row in terms of the domestic treble. It can prompt you to look back into the volumes of back catalogue memories in your head of previous cup heartache and one such league cup horror show from 1985 is somehow fresh in my memory.

September 1985 and I was in primary 7, life was as good as it gets in school terms; you were the oldest group in the school, in the school football team, the wonders of high school were in your sights and Celtic had an exciting team playing some attractive football. We had players who were Celtic legends like Danny McGrain, established Celtic men like McStay, Provan, Burns and Aitken and you had up and coming exciting stars like Johnstone and McClair. You also had guys like Paul McGugan and Pierce O’Leary!

The previous season we had left hampden in May with the Scottish Cup after the memorable 100^th cup final in which we beat Dundee United 2-1 coming back from a goal down. It still remains one of the most memorable cup finals in Celtic History and had wetted my appetite for more of the same when the next cup competition started in the 1985/86 season. After playing well in the opening matches of this season we were drawn away to Hibs in the Skol Cup Quarter Final on a Wednesday night in early September. A Hibs team who had lost all of their four opening league games that season – I was in a confident mood.

This game sticks out really clearly in my head – I wasn’t at the match, I was still at the stage of supporting Celtic were I required an adult to take me to games and these were still few and far between. I followed Celtic through the radio commentaries on Radio Clyde and I loved it; sometimes I would set up my subuteo set and play along to the match reconstructing the incidents I had listened to.

At a time when the only games you saw live on TV were cup finals or international matches the radio was your way into the matches. Unlike today when the pundits and washed up ex-players with a tenuous link to Rangers see themselves as the centre piece, in those days the commentaries and football took centre stage. It was genuinely exciting listening to Richard Park commentating on the games on a Saturday afternoon or Wednesday night.

In the same week at school we were doing a project where we had to work in groups to prepare a radio news report, which we would write and then record into a huge double tape deck ghetto blaster. I immediately claimed the sports desk slot, I had no interest in news of any type apart from sports news and to be exact football news.

Every lunchtime I would run home which was about 3 minutes at top speed from the School for my lunch and would always just catch the sports desk after the 12.30 news and always thought what a great job that would be. So when it came to the task in hand I was an expert on how this sports reporting should be done.

There was a sketch from the only an excuse guys back in the day when it was just an audio tape and they were still funny, where they took off the radio clyde sports report and it had Hugh Keevins reading out the headlines from the newspapers, you hear him turning the pages and he finishes by telling you of Angus Ogg’s latest adventure (For Younger readers Angus Ogg was a cartoon strip in the Record). This was pretty much how I was going to do it for the radio recording at School, take my Dads Daily Record in, read out the headlines the scores and any other sports news – stopping before I got to Angus Og.

The morning of the recording was to be the morning after the Hibs match at Eater Road, so in the preparation for the show I had explained to my group and the teacher how I would be focussing on the league cup ties from the night before in my sports desk. I would be listening to the match the night before so I would dedicate the majority of my 45 second slot to the Celtic match report.

It’s funny that I remember small details in my life leading up to a match that I didn’t even attend but I remember we had a game that day for school team at home. I remember after it was over and we were getting changed on the stage behind the stage curtains (we didn’t have changing rooms) I was just so excited about getting home and listening to the match.

There was a lad in the school team who was a bigger Celtic fan than me; he went to all the matches or at least he claimed to and I remember him saying he needed to get changed really quickly as he leaving to go to Easter Road and his dad was waiting for him in the car. I never doubted this at the time just as I never doubted a few weeks later when he came in on the Thursday and said he had been at the game the night before – in MADRID….

I also never doubted him the day the year previously when he said he had rugby tackled the guy in the jungle who had thrown the bottle on to the pitch during the Rapid Vienna match and lay on top of him until the police came. You see at this age you weren’t really used to the cult of the Bull-shitter.

My next memory of the game was pacing around my bedroom with the radio on listening to the match. Celtic had taken and early lead through Maurice Johnston but had surrendered an equaliser and then a second goal just as half time approached from Gordon Durie. However it was one of those games and before the break Davie Provan beat Allan Rough to send the teams in 2-2.

Tom McAdam was to blame for the 3^rd Hibs goal in the second half and you had a horrible feeling this Hibs team were not going to be beaten that night, however straight from kick off Maurice Johnstone again scored to tie the match at 3-3 and send me jumping around the bedroom.

Extra time was required and this was tuning into a late night for me but the fact I was out of sight from my parents meant they were either engrossed in watching Minder or too lazy to come up and tell me to go to bed. In extra time we got the fourth and surely the deciding goal with a rare strike by Roy Aitken – Feed the Bear Feed the Bear I chanted over the crackling of the radio, mightily relieved and leaving me thinking what a report I was going to have for the show in the morning.

Then it happened and Richard Park was shouting “ Durie -  deflection – its gone past Bonner !” The ball had taken a wicked deflection off McGrain and changed direction to trundle past Pat Bonner.

The game would be decided on a Penalty shoot-out. I think this must have been a new introduction to finish ties on the night because I think it was the first time I had ever remembered Celtic being in a shoot-out so this was taking excitement levels on to a new scale.

After the allotted penalties of five each both teams had missed two so it was headed for sudden death. It’s strange you never really remember who missed the previous penalties but you always remember who missed the decisive one and with HIbs scoring their penalty it all rested on Pierce O’Leary – The brother of Arsenal and Ireland Legend David, the similarity was in name only. Richard Park was drowned out by an almighty roar that meant one thing – he had missed and we were out. He hadn’t just missed he had ballooned it about 5 yards over the bar.

It was getting on for 10 O’clock when the ball sailed over the bar and I was totally devastated as only an eleven year unaccustomed to cup shocks can be, I just couldn’t believe it – just like I couldn’t believe it later in the season when on the same venue we lost 4-3 in a Scottish Cup tie.

The next morning the result was still hanging over me like a dark cloud; it was to be a feeling that would be repeated many times in my life as a celtic fan where outstanding highs would be peppered with spectacular lows. I didn’t take that days paper in to school instead when it came to my slot in front of the mic I read out the results of the horse racing from the previous days paper for 45 seconds much to the bemusement of my group members and teacher. Blocking out the scoreline – a practice I would adopt many times over in years to come.

And as we discussed the previous nights result in the playground at playtime you will never guess who caught the ball when Pierce O’Leary ballooned the ball over the bar?

Even though the penalties were taken into the Hibs end…..

Its life Jim but not as we know it..

The world was taken by surprise yesterday by the return of a Sexagenarian who hadn’t published a piece of work in a long time; it was unannounced and fittingly out of the blue. Many had thought his career had ended long ago but he has come blustering back in his trademark style to entertain us all again. Yes on the same day ziggy stardust again played his guitar; Jim Traynor proved that there is indeed life on Mars and its populated by sevconians.

This waste of space oddity hadn’t been heard of since his embarrassing last column in the Daily Record which left no doubt as to where his next post would be. Since taking up his head of communications role at Sevco he hadn’t popped his considerable sized head above the parapet in an official capacity but anyone who watched the car crash Charles Green Christmas Message would have detected the familiar tone and content of a script written by Traynor. My body has only now dis-contorted itself two weeks after viewing the video such was its cringe inducing qualities.

I don’t class myself as a regular blogger, just as when I feel like putting something down as time dictates, if it passes 5 mins of someone’s journey on the bus or the train or whilst skiving at work then I’m happy with that. I don’t claim to be grammatically correct but would class myself slightly above semi-literate; I have a first class honours degree and a masters degree in my chosen field which isn’t written English; however I don’t feel that in any way inhibits my or anyone else’s ability to note down some thoughts and opinions on a game which I have contributed heavily to financially now and over the last few decades.

In a general swipe at internet bloggers / bampots Traynor suggested Celtic bloggers were no better than semi-literate; that is -  “having achieved an elementary level of ability in reading and writing” [oxford dictionary].

Aside from the cheap and inaccurate generalisation, only having a basic level of literacy doesn’t preclude someone from holding intelligent, balanced and well thought out views. The history of the world would have been a lot different had society ignored the views of those labelled as semi-literate – Albert Einstein and Thomas Edison to name but two.

Jim Traynor has had a career in journalism, he’s never challenged for any literary awards as far as I know, his writing has always been motivated by trying to sell more copies of a newspaper which has taken the form of pandering to the largest demographic of his readership. Nothing then therefore has to change with this transition to his new role apart from adding the two pre-requisite ingredients to get the hordes on side – threats and a quote from struth.

His first blog post was rambling, disjointed and without any tangible content on the subject he was meant to be addressing which was league reconstruction. The Dadaism movement of avante garde poets in the early twentieth century would write a collection of words on separate bits of paper, throwing them into the air and create poetry based on the order the words landed. This seems to be the style of writing Jim Traynor has adopted in recent years going by the quality of some of his Daily Record opinion pieces and this first Sevco offering.

The main theme of the article was not addressing the subject of restructuring; the overriding context of the blog was threat; misplaced triumphalism and demagogic.

Threatening contributors to radio Scotland for doing exactly what Jim Traynor used to do himself – giving opinion.

Misplaced Triumphalism in the claims that Sevco are the biggest club in Scotalnd? A six month old club playing in the fourth tier of Scottish football? Juventus must be glad they didn’t draw them in the Champions League.

Demagogic in inciting a sense of injustice and victimisation amongst the Sevconians by alluding to the unseen hand of Celtic and its supporters somehow being to blame for the position they find themselves in. Repeating the paranoia that main stream media are maligning their club and that they are being locked out of talks (ignoring the fact they are only associate members – new club and all that Jim, but then you know that)

Despite Jim claiming that Sevco have no wish to see a quick restructuring process that would see them fast tracked to the top division this is at odds with the share prospectus which noted that restructuring could see them fast tracked to the SPL a lot quicker.

This would have been a more enticing prospect to would be investors if this were the case and the fact that the new league proposals would not hasten this will no doubt have motivated the tone of the blog. I wonder how many re-writes of the piece he had to do after Charles Green had red penned it?

The gulf at this moment in time between Celtic and Sevco can not only be measured by leagues and finances but also it seems by professionalism and dignity. Dignity used to be the preserve of the Rangers however it would appear the brown brogues have been consigned to the bin and dignity seems to be the one commodity Charles Green didn’t buy in the fire sale.

To add to the embarrassment of this statement we were informed by RFC Dickson that Traynor was on the phone to Radio 5 live awaiting his cue to come on and spout forth his wisdom. As the sevconians tuned into their radios in anticipation it became clear that Traynor had been dropped for an item on a pensioner from Milton Keynes who had been using the same toaster since 1953.  

If Traynor keeps producing pieces like this on a consistent basis then it is going to keep me laughing for a long time to come – just like bowies laughing gnome.