A Helicopter Sunday with a difference – Pay Back Time

In the late 1970’s there was a short lived science fiction series called “sapphire and steel” featuring David Murrays failed conquest Joanna Lumley. In it she plays a character called Sapphire who has the ability to take back time; rewind it to replay the past and at the request of her fellow investigator “Steel” she could also pause time. How David Murray must have prayed for Sapphire to walk back into his life last night, take time back to 7.59pm and pause it their perpetually.

Like many of you I was no stranger to the world of Internet Bampotery and through various blogs, podcasts and twitter I believed that I had the full picture of Rangers all covered and in many ways I had but the way it was presented into your living room in full glorious HD Technicolor was absolutely jaw dropping at times. For those who don’t partake in internet bampotery or who only believe it if they see it on TV it must have been hard to fathom that it was real at times and not a hogmany episode of Only and Excuse.

Paul Baxindale Walker who was like a junior version of fellow egotist and pipe smoker Donald Findlay – how much was this struck off lawyer paid to give Murray the tax advice that has brought the club to its knees?

Joanna Lumley’s rebuff of the risk taking, smooth talking, Edinburgh steel magnate was held up as an example of David Murrays confidence and his attitude to business. In the same vein then Frank Macavennie must be held up as potentially being the next Mark Zuckerburg. Its all their for the only an excuse team – job done, David Murray and Frank Macavennie hanging about Vicky’s taking shots at Joana Lumley whilst Prince Albert of Monaco looks on.

Then laid before us was the list of EBT beneficiary’s, their amounts received and the presence of a side letter – BANG. Here it is if you need reference to it

 http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-18148818

Some of the names are a reminder of the fact that despite throwing money about like a man with no arms they still bought some amount of shit – Dan Eggen anyone? Alex Rae - £569,000 from an EBT with only 34 games played? Kevin Muscat £1 million? The amounts are eye watering and leave you asking a few questions: -

How much will EBT Beneficiary George Adams Director of Ross County be compromised in the SPL Newco Vote?

Why was Souness paid thirty big ones almost a decade after leaving the club and prior to making large transfer commitments from his current club to Rangers?

How will the devout Christian Marvin Andrews wrestle with his conscious about tax evasion?   

With Sky TV employing a player Neil McCann who was in receipt of a side letter will they take advantage of this opportunity to interview him on it and give us his insight into how it was arranged?

With Steve Davies in receipt of an EBT will his every appearance result in Rangers losing every game he has played in 3-0 meaning relegation this season at the very least?

How much of Nacho Novos EBT money did he waste on Tattoos and how much will he donate to the RFF? 

Why are we funding via a license fee Billy Dodds to appear on the BBC and lie about being in receipt of an EBT and cast doubts over the motives of those accusers.

And who are the names not revealed in the report?

There should be no tears shed for the Rangers supporting garage mechanics of this world who will admit to loving the good times and got the benefit of those good times, the title celebrations, the flag waving triumphalism, the champions league nights. It was all achieved dishonestly by paying players undeclared amounts of tax free money that as it transpires was funded by the Bank of Scotland. Its payback time now for years of cheating in an effort to keep on the coat tails of Celtic throughout a decade and beyond of guys like you and me paying thousands for season tickets in a competition that was tainted and heavily weighted in favour of one team.

There should be a new Helicopter Sunday, a day when the helicopter flies over and lands on the centre circle of ibrox and removes all the titles, trophies, players medals, league flags that were won during this period. And the stands should be full of those Rangers fans who witnessed it and revelled in it all along with all the players, managers and directors who perpetrated in the cheating. David Murray should personally walk into the Blue Room and remove each tainted prize and walk to the helicopter to hand it over.

  

If I were a Rangers fan I would be mortally embarrassed by the history of my club and be more than tempted by the chance to start again a fresh in division 3 and try and build the club up from an honest and untainted base line. But more worrying for Rangers fans is that it is clear that there is no one with any credibility or money left who is going to save the club dying. Even if the Green fable comes to fruition it’s going to be another case of people in charge of the club who are 100% motivated by making money and sucking them dry.  

One final reminder though that will stand me in good stead for the rest of my life and I will pass down to my future generations , always remember “pornography will not make you go blind but the mis-use of EBT’s will”  

The SPL is the Football Equivalent of the Eurovision Song Contest

The eventual result of the SPL vote on financial fair play would be no less credible if it were phoned in on a crackly line live from Oslo with barbed commentary from Terry Wogan over the top of it. For decades the Eurovision has been viewed as a contest that is not credible in terms of providing the intended outcome and has been subject to open criticism that voting agreements are struck; or that countries cast political and geographical rather than “artistic” votes, even though there is no political issue at stake.

The second non-decision of the SPL board and member teams was frankly predictable given the sound bites given out previously by Neil Doncaster and his continual quoting of the mantra that an application of the Newco is at the discretion of the SPL board. It is quite clear from Steven Thompsons interview on Sunday and the subsequent resolution yesterday that the members of that board other than Topping and Doncaster have been intimidated by the  threats of retribution from all under the Rangers banner and want out of that particular decision making process.  

Its not hard to understand that they would prefer the vote to be taken by all clubs collectively but the date of 30th May plays perfectly into the hands of Doncaster who’s raison d’être is to have the most commercially viable league in terms of crowd numbers, TV deals and sponsors. If the NEWCO application is received prior to 30 May it is up to the SPL board members and Doncaster has already made it quite clear in interviews if you cut away all the fluff, that the application will be accepted. Furthermore there is probably no legal mechanism to issue sanctions once accepted. If the application isn’t received before the 30 May then don’t be surprised to see the decision adjourned again.

The startling thing for me was the reason behind the delay. It was at the request of Duff and Phelps to postpone it to give Bill Miller time and in addition no representative from Rangers was there. The attendance at a bigot fest in Linfield was obviously a bigger draw to the Rangers Reps rather than the future of the game in Scotland. 10,000 of them marched to Hampden when it was shut but when invited to attend not one of them bothered.

So here we have a court appointed administrator and a largely unknown trucking “Tycoon” from Tennessee who hasn’t set foot in this country and who hasn’t put a single penny into Scottish Football dictating to the SPL – and the SPL allowing this? It beggars belief and to quote Terry Wogan from one of his stints on the Eurovision -  'Please don't ask me to take it seriously'. It’s a ludicrous situation and the newco situation seems to be gathering less criticism in some quarters than the decision this time last year to allow Celtic a one match SPL postponement to play in the Dublin Cup.

The people who do put money into the Scottish game are the fans and we are being asked to blindly cough up for money in Season Tickets in advance of any decision being made? With one chairman already stating that commercial considerations will out-weigh sporting integrity when he comes to vote then what is it we are actually paying for if its not a fair sporting contest? I personally will renew my season ticket as I always have even at my lowest motivation in watching Celtic – the year spent at Hampden - I renewed.

Given the current situation I will add to my self imposed boycott of Ibrox, all the other away grounds in the SPL. The time, money and personal sacrifice I expend to attend these games is no longer worth it; I have weighed up my own commercial / time considerations against the perceived sporting contest and will not be attending.

Celtic have the biggest proportion of season ticket holders than any other club and as such have a lot more to lose, a lot more customers to safeguard and a major financial consequence should their customers vote with their feet. Throughout history the custodians of the club have rallied against the decision makers at crucial points in order to protect our position and Peter Lawell must look to Kelly and McCann if in doubt about how to go about it.

A lot has been made about certain clubs breaking rank and expressing how they would be likely to vote and Celtic have remained silent on the issue. Some take this to be a weakness or a sign that Celtic have no objections, however until this charade plays out we cannot judge and something tells me that when we look back, the history will not read that Celtic were willing and compliant in a sanction free Newco.

One of the exceptions to the voting pattern of the Eurovision was in 1981 when the choreography of Bobby G whipping Cheryl Bakers skirt off to reveal an even shorter skirt was enough to sway the votes, presumably those who voted hoped the winning re-run of the performance would reveal even more. It is going to take a similar “skirt pulling” moment to force a major swing in the SPL vote and break the voting cabal – An announcement by Celtic; the broadcasting of a damning documentary so breathtaking that it makes a yes vote impossible; the result of the FTT or a Tennessee Tycoon walking away.

Any of these events could provide that “skirt pull” moment which forces the SPL to finally cut their indecision and make their mind up (sorry) the sporting way.